insomnia

so for weeks on end i have had the worst time sleeping... i think i mentioned this before... but its not getting better. i am up late at night laying awake in bed for hours awake in the middle of the night for hours... and normally not because of the boys waking up. i am up burdened to pray. my heart aches for my child/ren who are waiting for us in Africa. but i dont even know what agency or country we are going to use. i think i narrowed it down to 2 agencies: holt international and america world. we are leaning towards Ethiopia because it is a well oiled country to adopt from in Africa and because i love the country, culture, food and have this unexplainable attachment ever since 2001 when i was there. but we are still praying for guidance as to where and with whom and how many children.

in the middle of the night this week i opened my Bible to the back and looked up waiting and this is the verses that popped out to me... yes a little out of context but it still reassured me

Romans 8:23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption

Romans 8:26-27 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.